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by sugarandspace



Series: Whumptober 2019 [29]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Magnus Bane in Edom, Past Character Death, Post-Episode: s03e20 City of Glass, Reminiscing, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-13 11:17:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21243221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarandspace/pseuds/sugarandspace
Summary: Time passes differently in Edom and Magnus isn’t sure how much time has passed since the beginning of his reign. All he knows is that it’s been more than even the longest Nephilim lifespan could be.





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**Author's Note:**

> Something a bit? Different?

Time passes differently in Edom and Magnus isn’t sure how much time has passed since the beginning of his reign. All he knows is that it’s been more than even the longest Nephilim lifespan could be.

He still misses Alexander daily but by now the sharp pain has turned into a duller ache that serves as a constant reminder of what he lost. He would give anything to see Alec again, to feel whole once more. He’s worried that time will steal the details from the version of Alec that exists in his memory and it scares him more than he can put to words.

A thought comes to Magnus’ mind. He knows it’s not a good idea but he doesn’t care.

He speaks out a short incantation and soon a shapeless demon flows through the throne room doorway. Magnus looks it into its piercing eyes, Magnus’ own reflecting the numb feeling that’s filled his core. Even through that, he focuses on a happy memory and lets the demon read it.

A blink of an eye and Alec is standing in front of him, young and smiling. That’s the thing Magnus fears the most - forgetting how that smile looked like. The sight takes Magnus’ breath away, the pure shock of seeing the familiar face again overriding the knowledge that what he sees isn’t true. The yearning turns to mourning as he keeps looking at the shapeshifter and sees the subtle differences in this Alec and his.

It might be sappy to say but it had always been clear to Magnus that Alec had angelic blood in his veins. There was a light there that went beyond the basic Nephilim grace their kind always gloated about. Magnus felt honored to have been there to see the light grow as Alexander took control of his own life. 

This Alec is full of darkness and so very wrong in Magnus’ eyes.

_ “You don’t do well, losing the ones you love.” _

Camille’s taunting words echo in Magnus’ mind. He knows that she was right, if nothing else, this is a solid proof of it. Magnus says a spell that strips the demon of Alec’s features and sends it back to the dusty plains. What he thought might have helped, ended up causing more pain as the old wounds were reopened.

Edom truly is the most miserable of the realms, for even its ruler is doomed to an eternity of sadness.


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